


Interlude

by childoflightning



Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [20]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Comfort, Deaf Deceit, Deceit Sanders Has PTSD, Fluff, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Logan is a Good Husband, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Terrible Parents, Non-Verbal Episode, Nonverbal Communication, Slice of Life, Snake Owner Deceit Sanders, Stimming, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childoflightning/pseuds/childoflightning
Summary: Logan wasn't sure he understood Deceit, hadn’t really gotten the chance to know him quite yet, but he was determined to try, which meant him and Deceit needed to talk.Showing up randomly at Deceit’s apartment wasn't exactly the way Logan had been planning to go about that conversation, but here he was anyways.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Logan & Deceit - Relationship, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1322924
Comments: 25
Kudos: 327





	Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> **TW: Snakes, Scars (mentioned), Abuse (past, mentioned), Manipulation (past, mentioned)**
> 
> In Depth TW in End Notes

Logan wasn’t sure what to think about Deceit. On one hand, the man seemed well-intentioned. On the other, he had tormented Virgil for years. But Virgil seemed to trust him- or at the very least was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Which Logan could understand. After all wasn’t he doing the same thing with his own parents?

His own parents hadn’t physical hurt him, not like Deceit had done to Virgil, but Logan’s parents had actually had the maturity and responsibility of making their own decisions, and they had made decisions that hurt Logan. Deceit didn't have that choice, both due to being a minor in addition to the manipulation and abuse he had undergone.

For Logan it was suffering. For Deceit it was survival. It was important that Logan didn’t forget the significant distinction.

It boiled down to the fact that Deceit didn’t have a choice, while Logan’s parents did. Logan had attempted to reconnect and rebuild with his own parents. He would do so much more for Virgil, including- but not limited to- trying to get to know and understand what was possibly the only positive connection Virgil had to his childhood.

Which was why Logan was currently standing outside Deceit’s apartment door.

There was a note on the door, requesting that he used the doorbell, so Logan reached over and pressed it, preparing himself for the upcoming interaction.

His choice to visit Deceit had been a sudden impulsive decision, which was completely out of character for Logan. He didn’t do things like this. He didn’t show up at people’s doors with no warning. It wasn’t his routine. He was all about preparations and planning, and here he was, completely ignoring that.

It made him shift from heel to toe and wring his hands uncomfortably as a sense of wrongness filled his body. Logically, he knew why he had come to talk to Deceit, but he couldn’t for the life of him understand why he had chosen now of all times.

The door swung open.

Deceit casually leaned against the doorframe, regarding Logan carefully.

“Uh- Logan, right?” Deceit tried to confirm.

Logan nodded.

Deceit nodded in return.

Logan opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He tried again. Nothing.

It was like his vocal cords had emptied. They were open, and they were clear, but the words just wouldn’t come out. His throat was a gaping cave with nothing but wind coming through.

Shit. Not now. Logan made a little frustrated noise and grasped his hands tightly, allowing his fingers to dig into his palms, just hard enough to feel, but not hard enough to break skin or cause much pain.

“Logan?” Deceit said.

Logan nodded and made another frustrated noise, wishing his voice would work. (It didn’t).

Deceit shifted a bit at the door, before nodding his head and stepping a bit to the side.

“Do you want to come in?” Deceit offered.

Not knowing what else to do, Logan nodded and slipped past Deceit to enter the apartment.

Deceit led them over to a table in the kitchen and took a seat, allowing Logan to do the same. Logan sat and stared at the table, lifting a hand to trail and follow the lines in it.

“Uh,” Deceit started, seeming at a loss for words.

Logan could understand that, considering he was in a similar position. He ached for the PECS binder he had just begun to use again. It helped a lot during nonverbal episodes like this one.

“Logan, not that I mind you being here, I mean, you’re welcome to visit, but- well, why are you here?”

Logan said nothing.

Which was the worst, because he _wanted_ to say something. He _wanted_ to talk to Deceit. He wanted to explain that he wasn’t sure he trusted him yet and wanted to get to know him. Wanted to not be so uncomfortable around him. Wanted to trust him.

But he couldn’t talk.

His brain was working overdrive attempting to catch up to Logan’s change in routine by making this random visit. But it wasn’t catching up fast enough, resulting in his speech cutting out completely. So now Logan was stuck, unable to talk, in a situation where he didn’t have someone who understood exactly what was going on. An understanding that he had gotten used to over the last few years.

He sighed and pulled out his phone, opening it to the notes app. Generally, typing wasn’t much better for him because it took energy that he didn’t have at the moment. It was what had finally convinced him to get a new PECS binder in the first place.

He typed quickly, each letter painful, before sliding the phone over to Deceit.

> -can’t talk-

Deceit looked at it, frowned, and slid it back.

“Okay,” he said, “Uh, did- did you want to talk?”

Logan nodded.

He thought he should probably leave, come back another time when he had actually planned this out and his brain wasn’t as tired.

He didn’t move.

“Okay,” Deceit said, “Well we can do not talking. That’s fine.”

Logan stared at the table and gritted his teeth, hating himself a little bit.

“Hey, do you like snakes?” Deceit asked him abruptly.

Logan didn’t lift his head, but gave a tiny shrug. Objectively, snakes were cool, but Logan had never actually interacted with them before.

“Well, I have two. Want to meet them?” Deceit asked.

Logan shrugged again, but added a nod for good measure. Why not? It wasn’t like they were going to be doing much talking anyways.

Deceit gestured towards two tanks and started walking towards that. Logan pulled his shoulders tight and followed.

Descent out a hand above one of the tanks.

“This is Guildenstern,” he said. He moved his hand, holding it above the other rank. “And this is Rosencrantz.”

Those were Shakespeare names, right? Logan couldn’t quite remember where the names came from but he was almost positive they were in some Shakespearean play. He had to have either read it in high school or heard Roman talk about it when planning Shakespeare in the Park.

Logan shifted onto his toes and bounced a little, trying to desperately remember. When nothing same to mind, he made a little huff of displeasure. He had to know. He wanted to know.

So Logan pulled out his phone and typed in a single word before shoving it in Deceits direction.

Deceit mouthed the word the word with a frown.

“Names?” Deceit eventually voiced out loud, seemingly unable to puzzle out what Logan was asking.

Logan nodded.

“I just told you their names.”

Logan nodded once more.

Deceit stared at him for a minute, before his whole face lit up.

“Oh, did you want to know about the names?”

Logan nodded eagerly.

“Oh. Cool. Yeah. Okay so Guildenstern and Rosencratz are two characters from Shakespeare’s Hamlet.”

Logan had been right, they were Shakespeare.

“But they’re minor characters. Before this guy, Tom Stoppard, actually decided to give them their own play. It’s an existential tragicomedy playing on the ideas of absurdity. Major characters of Hamlet also tend to feature as minor characters in the show. It’s this- It just turns it all on its head, yknow?”

Logan did not know, considering he hadn't seen it known about the play, but he could tell Deceit was passionate about it.

“I just really admire the brilliance behind the work. To write a play like that, to reimagine two minor characters from such a notable figure’s work, and then give them their own play is incredible. And to do that well with humor, philosophy, style it the same as Shakespeare. And then to have it be successful?” Deceits eyes shined and delight in passion and he looked back over at Logan. His smile dropped and he slammed his mouth shut. “And yeah- that’s where my snakes got their names. That was probably super uninteresting and boring. Sorry about that.”

Something clenched tightly with Logan. How many times had Logan himself said almost the exact words Deceit had? Sure for Logan it was infodumping versus passionate rambling and there was a difference. But, it was the same concept of being told that no one was interested in what you had to say.

Logan shook his head frantically as he tried to somehow communicate that it was okay for Deceit to ramble on about his interests.

Deceit frowned and gave a tilt of his head.

“I- I don’t know what you mean?” he admitted softly, “I’m sorry,” he immediately apologized, “I just- I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

Logan shook his head, frustration growing inside him. He felt trapped. He knew what he wanted to say and he knew what he _meant_ to say, but he didn’t know how to communicate that to Deceit. Deceit in turn, didn’t know how to communicate with Logan. He didn’t know how to provide options to alternative means of communication, or understand what was going on. They were both struggling and out of depths in the situation and nothing could be done to fix it because it was neither of their faults. It just was.

Logan huffed and thought about what to do next.

He could leave- it would probably be easiest to leave- but it would leave an itch of dissatisfaction. Logan had come here on a mission that he still hadn’t completed. He wanted to get to know Deceit, and he thought he was maybe starting to.

Logan pointed back to the snakes and gestured in a way that he hoped Deceit understood as ‘Keep talking. Tell me more. I’m interested.’

Deceit continued to look at him blankly and gave a little shrug.

Logan grit his teeth and allowed his hands to meet, wringing and pulling at one another. Deceit watched the movement.

“Hey. You wanna hold one of them?” Deceit asked after a moment, “I think you might like it.”

Deceit thought Logan might like holding a snake?

In Logan’s mind, that seemed like an odd thing to assume, but he had no actual qualms and this poor attempt at a conversation wasn’t going anywhere. He shrugged and then nodded. Why not?

Deceit lit up. He walked quickly over to sink and rinsed off his hands before returning to one of the enclosures. He carefully slid the lid off and then reached in with both hands, gently scooping up the sake by the middle of its body. The snake quickly slithered around his arms, latching on to him firmly.

He pulled his arms carefully out, snake now wrapped around them.

“Guildenstern is shedding, so you can hold Rosie,” he explained, nodding down at the snake when he said its name.

Logan nodded, not having any real preference, or knowing what shedding had to do with any of this.

“Rinse off your hands first,” Deceit instructed.

Logan nodded, and then moved to the sink and did as told. He returned a moment later, unsure of what to do now.

“Okay, I'm going to give you her now. Try to support her with both hands, but if she wraps around you and does her own thing, that’s fine. Uh, she won’t bite- or she will bite if you do something stupid like grab her really hard or something. She’ll only bite in self defense. Just be gentle and you’ll be fine.”

No squeezing the snake. Got it. Logan could manage that.

“Okay,” Deceit said, “All that good with you?”

Logan nodded and held his hands out. Deceit then carefully untangled the snake from his arms. She had been steadily making her way up his body, stretching up into his shirt.

“Excuse me miss,” he said to the snake, “Please stop that. You’re going to Logan now, okay?”

The snake, of course, did not listen, but Deceit slowly detached her anyways and set her in Logan’s hands.

The first thing Logan noticed was the weight. He then noticed the cool feeling of her scales on his skin, how smoothly they rubbed against him. And then she moved.

She compressed part of her body and then extended, gripping onto him with strong muscles, and the weight of the pressure just about made Logan melt.

It felt so nice. It was possibly the nicest thing Logan had ever felt in his entire life. She was soft, and cool, with a weight and pressure to her that sent Logan’s head spinning in pleasure..

Logan couldn’t flap his hands so he shook his head a few times and started to hum.

“You like her?” Deceit said, tentative and hopeful.

Logan nodded vigorously and shifted from heel to toes, heel to toes. He nodded some more to make sure Deceit understood.

“Okay good. I thought you might.”

Deceit had thought _right_.

“I’m glad you think so,” Deceit said with a laugh.

Oh. Had Logan said that out loud? He hadn’t even noticed, to enraptured by the snake to pay attention to something as simple and boring as conversing. The snake was so much better.

She had now begun to climb up Logan’s own arm, smooth skin sliding against hers. He grinned happily at the movement, the pressure soothing and solid against him. Gosh this snake was just the best.

After a moment more Logan pointed at the snake and then back at Deceit, hoping that the other man would tell him more about her.

“You… want me to take her back?” Deceit questioned carefully.

No. No that was not what Logan wanted! Logan shook his head frantically. He liked the snake exactly where it was.

“Okay, okay. I won’t take her back,” Deceit said.

Logan hummed again and rocked on his feet.

He made new gestures, pointing to his mouth, then the snake and then waving his hand.

“You… want me to talk about her?” Deceit tried again.

Logan nodded in agreement. Deceit gave him a soft smile and began to do exactly that. He talked about ball pythons temperament and behavior. He told Logan about Rosie’s own personality and about Guildenstern’s as well. He commented about where he had gotten her from, and about the type of morph she was. He talked and talked and talked, stopping momentarily to make sure Logan was still interested.

Each time he stopped, Logan waved him on to continue and Dee shrugged and continued on.

It took a long time, but eventually the energy in Logan started to fade. He was still rocking and the feel of the snake- especially the pressure- was still everything, but time and the world around him seemed to come back into focus.

It was also at this point that he realized how late it had gotten.

“I should probably go now,” he said abruptly.

Deceit looked at him, mid-sentence in whatever he was saying about the snakes.

“Sorry,” Logan said, “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“I-” Deceit grit his teeth together and Logan felt like a jerk. He hadn’t meant to interrupt Deceit, but he tended to do that a lot without realizing. “I, sorry, can you repeat that?”

Oh. Maybe Deceit wasn’t mad at him. Maybe he just hadn’t heard Logan.

“Sorry,” Logan repeated, “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

Deceit gave Logan another unreadable expression.

“Do you need me to repeat myself again?” Logan asked.

“One second,” Dee said, “One second. Just give me- Don’t drop my snake, okay?”

With that, Deceit disappeared into another room,. Logan shrugged and continued to inspect the snake.

When Deceit returned he was fiddling with something in the ear on the opposite side of his facial scarring. A hearing aid, Logan realized.

“Sorry. Sorry,” Deceit said, “Say whatever you were saying again?”

“I was saying sorry, that I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” Logan said. He paused, then spoke again, “You’re hearing aid is whistling,” he noted.

“Yeah,” Deceit sighed, “It does that sometimes.” he reached up and fiddled with it a bit and the whistling faded away.

“Oh, should I not have mentioned it?” Logan asked.

“I- uh. No. No I’d prefer you mention it.”

“Okay,” Logan agreed.

“And it’s gone, I was just saying some of the same stuff about the snakes. Uh. What did you say before that.”

What had Logan said before? Oh right, it was getting late.

“I was saying that it was getting late. I should probably head home. Thanks for letting me hold your snake.”

“Yeah no problem,” Dee muttered, “hey uh. You don’t have to answer. But why- why did you visit?”

Logan shrugged.

“I wanted to get to know you. You’re a part of Virgil’s life, have been for awhile. I don’t want to take that relationship away from either of you, that’s not my place. But at the same time, Virgil is my husband. I care about him. I just wanted to get to know you, understand you better. You’re going to be a part of my husbands life, which makes you part of my life, and because of that I think it’s important for us to have an understanding of one another. Does that make any sense?”

Deceit stared at Logan for a good while, before eventually nodding.

“Uh yeah. That makes sense. And I mean- I get the hestitance. I was,” Deceit swallowed, “Well I wasn’t good to Virgil. So I can see why you would be careful.”

That wasn’t exactly what Logan was saying. He had never thought Deceit had bad intentions or was someone deserving of caution. It was more that Logan wanted to understand. But Logan didn’t know how to explain better, and he didn’t know where the disconnect between Deceit and him was. He left it for now.

“Okay,” Logan said instead. The snake in his arms twitched, and he realized he needed to give it back. “You can have your snake back. Thank you for letting me hold her. She’s very nice. And thank you for telling me about ball pythons. I really enjoyed learning about them, you seem to really care about your snakes.”

“Of course, and it’s no problem,” Deceit said, “I’m glad you like them too.”

Logan smiled, and rocked again. He waited for Dee to reach out to grab the snake or tell him how to put it back, but he didn’t say anything.

“Did, did you want the snake back?” Logan asked.

“Oh, right,” Dee said, giving an awkward half laugh. He walked forward and gently scoped the large creature off of Logan. Logan was sad to see the calm animal leave him. She had been quite comforting.

He turned away from Logan and gently set her back in her cage, before placing the lid back on and readjusting her heat lamp. After, Deceit directed Logan and himself both over to the sink to wash their hands. A minute later and he was facing Logan again, in the same spot they had started.

“I should probably be leaving, but it was nice to get to know you,” Logan said, offering his hand out for a hand shake.

Deceit took it, his grip firm. He shook Logan’s hand and then dropped his own.

“It was nice to meet you too.”

With that, Logan turned to leave. When he had reached the door and was about to open it, a call stopped him.

“Hey uh Logan?”

Logan paused and turned to face Deceit.

“I, uh, you can come visit the snakes again if you want. You’re not bad company.”

Logan visibly brightened and nodded his thanks. He would have to do so. Deceit wasn’t bad company himself.

**Author's Note:**

>  **In Depth TW: Snakes** (pet snakes are handled and discussed), **Scars (mentioned)** (Logan observes Deceit’s facial scarring), **Abuse (past, mentioned)** (The abuse Deceit and Virgil underwent as a child is mentioned, including the fact that Deceit used to abuse Virgil), **Manipulation (past, mentioned)** (The manipulation Deceit underwent as a child is mentioned)
> 
> My tumblr is [thechildoflightning](https://thechildoflightning.tumblr.com/). Feel free to send in asks and prompts, keep updated, and see extra stuff involved with this series.


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